


Someone help me breathe slow, I can't be my hero every single time

by luversd



Series: SuperCorp Adventures [11]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 21:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19118242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luversd/pseuds/luversd
Summary: Sometimes superheroes need someone else to be their heroOr the one where Supergirl finds solace in the one and only Lena LuthorSupercorp friendship





	Someone help me breathe slow, I can't be my hero every single time

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Hell' by Chelsea Cutler
> 
> This takes place after that one scene in 4x22 where Lena smashes the picture with her drink (epic). 
> 
> Unofficially this work is called 'my last work as a nineteen year old/I should be studying for my exam tomorrow'.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, drop a comment or a kudos if you do x
> 
> The characters belong to the CW and DC Comics.  
> All mistakes are mine.

The delicate picture frame lay shattered on the pristine white desk, the culprit glass of whiskey sitting atop it. Lena Luthor gazed out of her office window wondering what to do with the secret her dearest brother had let her in on. Kara Danvers was Supergirl. What now? The confidential piece of information was out in the open, except the person in question wasn't even aware of the situation. Should she cut off all ties with the CatCo reporter and forget their friendship has blossomed into something so beautiful? Should she wait until Kara was ready to tell her, if she tells her, in her own time? Or should she face the Kryptonian and get it over with? Overthinking about her next move in combination with the hard liquor did nothing to still the oncoming headache. So the raven haired woman grabbed her things and headed for the exit. As she locked the black doors to her workroom, Lena was greeted with a surprised 'Miss Luthor' from her new assistant. The young employee seemed eager to please and appeared loyal, although that wasn't nearly enough to gain the CEO's trust. After all, Eve Teschmaker had been a close ally until she had stabbed her in the back.

'I'm taking a break. Hold my calls while I'm gone and if anyone shows up without an appointment, tell them they can contact me via email or to arrange a meeting if it's truly important. I'll be back in an hour. I trust you you got a handle on this?' The businesswoman instructed. The fact that her assistant didn't have a key to her office gave her some peace of mind. At least she won't have to return to any surprise guests pacing around her workspace anymore.

'Yes, Miss Luthor. Enjoy your time out,' the employee smiled kindly.

The Luthor could do little but return a dimmed version of a pleased expression before she made her way to the elevator. Lena prided herself on her ability to stay focused on a task long enough to see it though until the end. In a world full of distractions, it was a gift to have an attention span lasting longer than five seconds. Unfortunately, this applied to her personal problems as well and right now there were Kara-shaped thoughts racing through her mind and no way of boxing them in any time soon.

The businesswoman stepped out of the confines of the lift and kept her head low as she walked the route to her favourite coffee shop. The warm Californian breeze helped her unwind a little and the fresh O2-supply served to be beneficial for her ruminating brain.  
The popular café was crowded with idling customers who, just like her, were taking a break from their work. Among them, was Alex Danvers, coincidentally the sister of the woman she had been thinking about non-stop for an amount of time far too long to be deemed healthy. Just as she was about to greet the familiar redhead, she noticed the DEO agent was speaking to someone on her phone, so instead she dutifully slid behind her in the line and aimlessly let her eyes flicker around the shop.

It hadn't been her objective to eavesdrop but could you blame her when the person was right in front of her and more importantly, when the person was talking about someone she cared about?

'Kara's fine, Mom. She's doing great,' the Danvers sister spoke quietly into her phone to which the caller, Eliza Danvers so to see, responded.

'She's resting plenty, it's practically impossible to get her out of bed,' okay, Alex was definitely lying because Lena had seen the superhero flying around the city as if the fight with Red Daughter and Lex Luthor had never even happened. Apparently, so had dr. Danvers.

'Fine, no. She's not resting. She's still... doing her job, but I promise you she's fully recovered,' the governmental operative was getting frustrated with the direction the conversation was heading into and she visibly tensed at whatever her mother had said next.

'I _know_ she died, Mom. I was there, and I can't get the the memory of how her heart stopped beating out of my head, but you know just as well as I do that there's nothing that could keep her down. I'm just glad I remember everything so I can at least keep an eye on her.' Alex's head snapped up as the line moved and she realised it was nearly her turn. 'I have to go but I'll call you later, Mom. Love you.'

With that the oldest Danvers sibling hang up her phone while Lena Luthor nearly dropped the one in her hands. Kara had died? Her Kryptonian heart had gone into cardiac arrest and it had actually stopped beating. Kara Danvers, Supergirl could've breathed her last breath and never smiled, laughed, danced, _flown_ again. The realisation hit the CEO harder than any of Lex's goons could have during one of their bi-yearly attempts to kidnap her. Forgetting why she had even come to the café in the first place, Lena rapidly stalked out of the building and called her driver to pick her up, her destination: Kara's apartment.

On the drive to the blonde reporter's living quarters, Lena's thoughts consistently comprised of Kara, Kara, Kara. Her mind had been thrown into chaos and she could barely keep up with the panicked speculations her brain came up with about how and when and why the superhero had died in the first place. Forming a good-mannered, old fashioned greeting was the last thing the Luthor was worrying about and that was evident in the two words she pronounced once the door to apartment 4A had opened to let her in.

'You died?'

Kara Danvers was in a bind because a) how did Lena even find out, b) how was she supposed to explain how a reporter like herself had found herself in life-or-death situation where the latter had won the upper hand, and c) technically yes but she was still alive, so wasn't that the part they should be focusing on?

Sensing the Danvers' hesitation, the CEO stepped inside the apartment and crossed her arms. 'Kara, I know. I know you're Supergirl. Now, did you or did you not go into cardiac arrest?'

Kara furrowed her brows. How did Lena found out? Was she upset? Leaving her questions lingering in the back of her mind for the time being, the blonde looked up to meet the other woman's gaze. 'I, uh-, I did.' She pushed up her glasses nervously before carrying on, 'after the fight with Red Daughter. She had powers that I didn't have and she kept on going until my heart finally stopped beating.'

Something in the air between them shifted. Lena untangled her arms and cocked her head. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

That was a loaded question and the Super was smart enough to pick up on the double meaning behind the question. The blonde folded her arms before untangling them again nervously, unsure of how to get a hold of the situation. Instead of speaking she motioned to the couch, inviting the CEO to take a seat before they resumed their conversation.

As her fingers fiddled with the soft fabric of the cushion, Kara took a deep breath and finally met the other woman's gaze.   
'I'm Supergirl,' she started steadily, and she felt the weight of the secret lifting from her shoulders. 'I-, Lena, you're important to me, like really really important to me and I know whatever I say next might not justify keeping this from you, but know that I was going to tell you, soon. I tried, on the plane, but you were talking about Eve and how she betrayed your trust, and I just lost my nerve. It's not your fault,' the reporter affirmed quickly once she saw the Luthor raise an eyebrow at the implication. 'Of course it's not. I didn't want you to have to deal with this on top of the whole Lex fiasco. But I admit I had a lot of time before then to tell you the truth. The longer I waited for the right moment, the harder it got to tell you and the more I was afraid of losing you.'

'So you didn't tell me at all,' the Luthor concluded sceptically. 'That doesn't sound like the best plan Supergirl has ever come up with.'

'It definitely is not,' the blonde agreed. 'I'm sorry, Lena, for lying to you and for breaking your trust. I understand if you hate me now, but I'll do whatever it takes to be your friend again because your friendship means the world to me.'

'Why?' Lena wondered out loud.

'I told you,-'

'No, you didn't.' The CEO in her rose to the surface, her face was stern and her no BS-attitude was shining through. 'You said I was important to you and you explained why you didn't reveal yourself on our way to Kaznia, besides that the only reason you have given me for keeping this a secret, the only justification I have received up to now is because you didn't want to lose me. I'm not trying to be mean, Kara, but I'm going to need more than that if we're going to get through this. You had three years to tell me, all you had to say was two words and we would've been fine right now. So, why didn't you?'

The Super clenched her jaw in frustration. How could she explain her feelings when she didn't even understand them herself? 'Have you ever come out to someone, Lena?'

The unexpected question took the Luthor by surprise but before she could respond, the hero carried on.

'It's nerve wrecking to say the least. I'm not just talking about coming out of the closet like Alex did, but more generally, like revealing a piece of your identity to someone.' Kara paused for a moment as she thought about it. 'It doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing either but you know that showing them that side of you will change everything. And things were so great between us, you're my best friend and I need you just as much as I need my sister or James. I didn't want for us to change, or for things to become awkward. I guess I was being selfish because I wanted to keep you close to me for as long as I could, because I wasn't ready to lose you.'

Lena swallowed visibly at the last sentence but maintained her composure. 'And now you are?' She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

'No,' Kara confessed quietly, 'but I'm willing to face the consequences of my actions. I've been putting my own needs before yours for some time, it's your turn to be selfish, Lena. Whatever you need: space, time, answers, I'll give it to you.'

The businesswoman sighed softly. What _did_ she need exactly? For now, there was one question the blonde superhero had yet to answer. 'Why didn't you tell me about the fight? And what happened out there?'

'You're staying?' Kara Danvers' baffled expression was a sight to see, and she managed to pull a subtle smile out from the Luthor despite the circumstances.

'I think I'd be best for the both of us not to be alone right now considering our tendency to overthink things,' Lena pointed out and somehow the fact that she would rather be with the Super instead of at the office with a drink in her hand, made the hero realise how far they'd come since their first meeting. 

Kara gave the raven haired woman a soft smile in agreement before answering her questions. 'I don't know what Lex did to Red Daughter or whether her powers came from the Harun-El but she had some abilities I didn't,' the blonde recounted the events of that night. 'It was uh,' Kara paused as the post traumatic stress made it hard for her to speak, 'it was scary being overpowered by someone who looks just like you.' She clasped her hands together in an attempt to stop them from shaking and she suddenly felt her whole body trembling in fear. 'She has my face, my powers, but she was so angry because that's the way Lex taught her to be. That could've been me, if I had landed anywhere else on Earth, if my cousin hadn't found me and brought me to the Danverses, I could've ended up being somebody's war weapon.'

Two soft hands stilled hers before a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her warm body. Despite the chills that ran down the reporter's spine, her Kryptonian physiology kept her body temperature from dipping too low.   
'You're okay,' Lena whispered quietly in her ear. The Super released a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She let herself drown in the comfort and safety of her best friend's embrace before she spoke up.

'I've been struggling,' she confessed, 'I've been feeling incredibly vulnerable and I hate it. I'm afraid the collapsing building will be too heavy and that it'll crush me, I'm afraid if I go too fast I'll lose control over my speed, and I'm terrified that by doubting myself I'll fail to save the people who need me.' A tired tear trickled down the Kryptonian's cheek and the Luthor was quick to wipe it away. 'I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to and I didn't want you to worry. I thought I'd be fine, I wanted to be fine, and I figured the best way to get over it would be to go out there and prove myself wrong but I only end up being tired.'

'Oh, Kara,' the CEO sighed into the blond hair before pulling back so the other woman could hear her clearly. 'Fighting your demons in the physical world won't get rid of what's happening in your mind. The fear that you're feeling is a valid response to a traumatic event you experienced recently, you can't expect to be able to wish it away. These things take time to heal, and darling, you've been so patient with the rest of the world, it's time you showed yourself that same consideration.'

'Thank you,' was the reporter's honest reply.

'What for?'

'For making me feel like I'm not losing my mind.'

'Don't worry, I took notes when Lex started going crazy so I know which signs to look out for. I'll let you know when I sense you're spiralling,' Lena teased lightheartedly.

'Lena Luthor, my saviour,' Kara smiled, 'just make sure you do it before you go bonkers.'

The Luthor feigned shock, 'you underestimate my ability to act sane, love. You know we've already crossed that line ages ago.'

'That's what it was. Here I was thinking you just had a sparkling personality,' the blonde joked.

'Only you would call it a 'sparkling personality', Kara Danvers. That's why you're my favourite,' Lena squeezed her shoulder as if to prove her point.

'We're going to okay, right?' The Super asked after a brief moment of silence.

She felt the raven haired woman nod by her side, 'in time, yes.'   
The Danvers sister knew that things would change between them for worse or for better, but it warmed her heart that Lena believed their  friendship would survive this train wreck. It gave her hope.

'By the way, what did your sister mean with 'she's glad she remembers everything'? I heard her talking to your mother about you when she said it,' the L-Corp executive remembered.

'Oh yeah, her boss was trying to uncover Supergirl's identity so we mindwiped Alex to make her forget I'm Supergirl,' Kara explained easily.

Lena's gaze snapped to the hero in her arms. 'You did what now?!' 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading lovies x
> 
> also come stalk me/talk to me on Tumblr at @basicbxxxtch


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